And here I am....Winona, MN

It occured to me to this week that I had made another decision to come home afterall...at least until Christmas, but never really communicated that with anyone who was reading my blog.

So, for those of you who don't know, I am home in Winona, for the time being. Obviously the first question is...what happened? Well, nothing happened. I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed from my rash decision and realized I didn't have a good plan for staying in Chile...just that I was going to stay. Now, that would be ok, and was ok, except, I had given away my resources and I didn't have my computer. I didn't have a place to stay, to live...although I was in the midst of looking. I just realized that by the time I figured out what I was doing and spent some money, I might have just as well gone home for the holidays as I had promised my parents and come back when I have a plan.

I have been back in Winona for just a bit over a week. I have seen my family, of course, and some good friends. And, I have been back long enough to enjoy the snow and cold. yay. Already, my parents are campaigning hard to keep me home, only natural.

Honestly, I have been having a hard time being back, mostly because part of my heart is now in Chile. The moment I got onto my Air Canada flight where they spoke French and English...I felt like my experience was being robbed from me. A year ago, I left the states to head to Costa Rica, where I took intensive Spanish classes for a month. When I returned, I knew I wanted to work with English language learners, specifically Latinos. I left my job and stumbled upon Chile...an opportunity to continue working on my Spanish and to teach at the same time. Never did I know how incredible the experience would be...never did I think I would want to keep myself there. So, as I get messages from students on my facebook account and as I get normal email messages...I find myself hurting to make decisions. The question that continues to come to mind is....is a dream, or a goal, a sinlge experience or a lifestyle change? Maybe the initial step is just a step, a goal....but with every goal we reach, we alter our main objective...that is ok...and if you don't beleive me, you can take the Dale Carnegie Management course! They might have even highlighted that in the Bridge Builders course, or the Leadership Quest course I took through Tentmakers. Actually, it makes more sense for Tentmakers to say that, now that I think about that....because, sometimes God doesn't let us see where we are going...he just leads us in the general direction...revealing the path as we go.

In the end, I love using my spanish and I don't want to lose it. I feel like I have been working too hard to just come home and "go back to normal". So, I feel like a huge slacker just sitting around the house, but I really don't want to make anymore rash decisions...because I know I will have to live with the decision I make for a while. Right now, I still don't have a car. I still don't have furniture. I still don't have insurance, rent, phone,....I am not going to give up my nomadic status that quickly.

Alright...now that you all know I am home...and that I have no idea where my life is going to take me right now...I will let you go. Feel free to say a prayer, or alot of prayers, that I make a good decision for ME.

Until then, know that the reverse cutlure shock is a VERY dificult and rocky road. Luckily, I have a family that will let me live with them until I make a decision. :)

Ciao. ~jami